I'll be posting a lot of stuff on this site. Stupid sayings from my other site, pictures, guitar tabs, and other whatnot. I named the site absent blank because blank blank was taken. I dunno, honestly I thought blank blank was funny, but I figured, I'm usually absent minded so absent blank. Ok so anyway, I'll also be putting funny stories of things that have happened to me or my friends over the years.

Here's one:--- Me and some people went to sixflags for the day. We went running to the Superman ride because we knew the line was going to be long. We wait for about 5 minutes and reealize that the line would be more than a two hour wait so we said forget it. We turned around, and instead of running through the bars, the ones set up like a snake, or at the bank, we started jumping over them. I was goin good for eight to ten bars, I saw the end coming. I jumped over the last bar, came down, tripped over the curb, and went head first into a bush. I think someone took a picture and said,"Just my feet were sticking out." I came out with leaves all in my shirt. Everyone around was pointing and laughing. O well I had fun.

Another: I was at my cousins house on the weekend. Me, my counsin, and one of our firends were in his room playing PS2 or something. Our friend always wears a hat, so just to mess with him, we grabbed his hat and through it from my cousins room which is on the second floor. Just out side of my cousins room is the roof from the downstairs deck. The hat landed just on the edge. To get his hat, our friend has to go on the roof. When he goes out to get it, we shut the window and lock it. The only way to get back in is to jump. It's not too far of a drop down, but i wouldn't do it. Anyway I don't think he stuck his landing when he fell, because we heard a thud and a, "ouch." I haven't talked to him in a while.

Another Another: One of my friends were having a party. We were outside playing football. One of my other friend's little brother was there. He kept complaining that he had to go to the bathroom. We told him to just go. He takes off running towards the house. When he was just about to run through the door way, he jumped to get over the threshhold and WHAM!!! The siliding door was so clean he slammed right into it. CLassic, yet very funny. (curtisy of the twins- thanx)

More: I was staying with my grandma for the weekend. I was about 7 at the time. She wanted to go to the board walk, and I said I would come with her. We walked, because she lives really near by. I was in a good mood that day, I was having fun with my granny.  We were on the sidewalk, near the boardwalk, and i saw a bench. I said," Watch this." I went to jump over it, my feet caught and i came down on my head. How I landed on that angle I do not know. My grandma thought it was halarious.

More stupdity: I was over my friends house, and we were playing catch outside. It was about 9 o'clock at night, and we were using a dark blue ball. (stupid in itself because you can't see the dumb ball) I was going for an under the leg pass, didn't put my arm between my legs far enough, went to throw the ball, and nailed myself where the sun don't shine. Stupid- yes. Painful- more so.

I need help: One day I went to the store with my mom. I was looking through the leather jacket section, and i had a shopping cart. I was walking around and the cart got stuck on the pocket of one of the leather jackets. Stupid me kept walking, not paying attention. I pulled down that rack of leather, and another fell and another and another and another. It turned out to be a domino effect. I thought it was funny.

I just don't think: I was visting my family in Pittsburg, Pennslylvania. One of my cousins owns a business with another friend, cleaning and buffing floors. One night my cousin calls me at 12:00 in the morning and asks me if i wanted to go on a job with him.(The only time they can celan the stores is late at night, because noones there) Anyway, he told me to vacum some rugs, I get the vacum and start pushing all these buttons and kicking it, trying to get it to start. My cousin looks over and says, "So your mentally slow?" After another 10 minutes i found the power button on the handle. I felt smart. (thanx ken)

FAMILY: I was still visiting my family in Pitts. I met one of my Grandparents friends and started talking to him. He said something pretty funny half way into the conversation, and I started laughing. I have no clue why, but this 70 year old guy grabs me and hugs me. It would not have been that bad, but he was holding my head on his shoulder. Odd. From now on its just hand shakes between me and him.

WHAT????: I was still in Pitts. I was talking to this guy, who knew a little about alot. Somehow we started talking about the Pilgrams that came to America. He told me, "Everytime the Pilgrams celebrated Christmas on December 24, they would get taxed for it, so they devised a plan. They figured they could go to America, and it would be tax free, and they could celebrate Christmas all they wanted." I learn something everyday.

Child hood memories: Me and my cousins were at my granny's house for the weekend. When I was little I was bored to death at my granny's house because I would always get in trouble and i was told to go outside. So anyway me and my cousins were told to go ouside once again. We saw this tree branch and figured hey lets pull it. With three people pulling on a piece of tree it's bound to break and it did. It snapped and we all hit the ground, i landed on my butt, and a piece of smaller branch poked one my cousins in the eye. HEHEHEHEHEHE

Stupidty in front of many: I was in school. I had just gotten done with gym. I was goin back to my locker upstairs to put my stuff away and get my books for the next class. My teacher really doesn't care if your late, so I was taking my time. I got everything i needed, and went to shut my locker. I missed my locker door, swung at nothing, and fell forward into the lockers. I don't think I can say anything about Freshman anymore.

Not really stupid, but really cool:I was at Six Flags again with two of my friends and his dad. We went on King Da Ka which I think is the best rollercoaster ever. Anyway after goin on Kinda Ka which is 456ft tall and goes at 128 mph (biggest in the world). After goin on that everything else seemed like a cake walk. My friend and I went on Nitro which is the second tallest in the park. We were talking and joking around because we just weren't thrilled after King Da Ka. In the middle of the drop this ladys keys came loose and flew past my head. I threw my hand up and caught it. Everyone yelled, "he caught the keys," at the same time. I felt good.

Bad Thing happen in Pittsburg:I went with my cousinto another store to help him clean it at like 1 in the morning. My cousin didn't want to go alone because the store is in a crack neighborhood. Once we get there my cousin says "When we get out, don't talk to anyone, do give anyone money, and don't buy anything." I was wondering what he meant by don't buy anything. We got out of the car and there were guys looking at us as if they had never seen semi-normal people before. We quickly walk in to the store, lock the doors, and start working. We see people looking at us from outside all wide eyed just walking past the store. Scary.

These are my friends: Two of my friends went on a cruise. From the time it pulled out of port one of them was really sea sick. They went to this area where all the kids hang out. They were walking around the ship. My friend felt like throwing up. He ran right into the room with all the kids threw up in front of them and ran out. They were wondering why he didn't attempt to make it outside. He told me he couldn't make it. He spent the rest of the afternoon hanging off the side of the railing.(The Twins)

My parents: My mom was giving the twins a ride home and was trying to find a road to take as a short cut. She made this right on a side street. When we got to the end of the street, we saw a sign that said no left turns. My mom says "O man, were not allowed to make left turns here." So she makes the left turn. Me and the twins lost it. We thought it was the funniest thing. You proably had to be there.

The people I know: One of my friends did something stupid in his house. His parents saw it and kicked him out of the house. (He was supposed to stay on the outside porch until he was allowed back in)Anyway, he was sitting on the porch venting, and thought I'm sick of this and decided to run away. He leaves the porch, goes down the driveway and starts to head out. He got as far as the mailbox. He thought what am I doing, went back to the porch, and waited until they let him in. (Thanx Ibbs)

Now I understand: This is the same friend that decided to run away. We were doing a lab in chemistry with some baking soda and vinegar.(No it wasn't that thing you do when you're a kid when you mix both together and watch the bubbles) Two kids across from us spilled their experiment and it went all over the table. My friend thought it would be funny to act like he ate the stuff that spilled over. He stuck his middle finger in the solution, and licked the index finger on the same hand to make it look like he ate the stuff. Everyone around us yelled "Ewww, I can't believe he did that". I was laughing because I knew what he did. Two days later he gets called down to the principal, and gets a right up slip. Our chemistry teacher wrote him up for "eating the solution". She wrote on the slip that eating the experiment was not part of the lab. No duhh, like eating it was part of the assignment. Anyway how good is that going to look if he' s trying to get into a school, and it says on his record, "Eats the chemistry lab experiments". He got two after school detentions.

Smooth: I was at this guys house doing some volunteer work. He turned down what we were offering. I said ok have a good one. (I was with my cousin). He lived on the second story of a condo. We were going down the outside steps, and my cousin was in front of me. He was going down the second set of stairs to the street. I totally missed one step and fell. Correction- I didn't fall, I flew. I flew right past the guys window as he was walking by. I landed on my knees, didn't even drop what I was carrying, and bounced up acting like nothing just happened. I have never gotten so quickly in my life. I was hoping that no one saw me but my cousin. My cousin was trying to ask if I was ok but he couldn't because he was laughing so hard. He said, "If you could have only seen your face when you fell." Thanks Cuz appreciate the sympathy.

These are always interesting: I was in Chemistry again. We were playing with Bunsen Burners. There is a knob on the bottom which lowers the flame. I was turing the knob, because we have ghetto burners and the flame was about 6-8 inches higher than it should have been. I was turning the knob and nothing was happening. All of a sudden, with a really quick sucking sound, the flame sucked into the Bunsen Burner and disappered. I was wondering where it went, and was a bit worried. Stupid me kept turning the knob anyway. A few seconds the later, the flame shot out of the bottom of the Bunsen Burner like a rocket ready for take-off. My hand was still underneath the Bunsen Burner. It burned all the hair off my hand before I could pull my hand out. All of a sudden people in the room asked, "Whats that smell". In a minute or two I realized it was the smell of burnt hair.  

Senior Year: This was my last year in this high school. I was going out on top. I couldn't wait to get out. Everyday after 5th period i went to my locker to pretend i was getting books for my next class. (It made me look smart). The girl whos locker was next to mine said something was stuck in the back of her locker. So, me being an idoit, stuck my whole head in the locker to see what was holding her sweatshirt in. The lockers mind you are not very wide. At all. My head is big. I got my head in but when i went to pull it out both my ears got stuck inside. I was pulling and pulling and pulling but i could't get my head out. So she started pulling on my shoulders, and my waist, and my legs and i was STUCK. I figured it would be more embarassing to have to call the janitor to get my head out of the locker so i pulled really hard. It HURT big time. I came out and my ears were all red and scratched up. The girl was laughing so hard she almost fell over. MY SENIOR YEAR OF HIGH SCHOOL!!!!!!!!!! Who gets their head stuck in their locker? Apparently me.

more stupid stories to come, don't worry I have plenty.

If you have some tell me and if theyre good I'll put them on.